If Woman is the Oven, What is man?

This topic came about while I was working last night when a fellow co-worker said the
man at the bar wouldn't let her serve him because he only likes the male bartenders (not
in a gay-way). She was very frustrated at this notion and vented to me and two other
male co-workers. One of their responses was (jokingly) that women should be at home
making babies while her husband is out working and providing for them.

Then he continued to say "you're an oven, so baby, bake!!!" It was all a joke, but I
began thinking, ok, if the phrase is "She has a bun in the oven," what is the male
providing? Is he the flavoring in the bun, the ingredients? Just as "Sex, Gender and
Identity" mentions in Chapter 9 of Chris Barker's "Cultural Studies, "Common sense
ecompasses a form of biological reductionism suggesting that the biochemical and
genetic structures of human beings determine the behaviour of men and women in quite
different adn specific ways" (285). This is an understatement.

Now-a-days, women are not seeking the "male specified, common sense, role of
provider" in order to gain a child. They are now seeking "role of sperm donor." It is not
that many women are just seeking to get pregnant and not need a man to support them,
but in many situations, women, well, don't need a man to support them and just want to
have a family. Is this wrong? I think not. If a man is measured by only his wallet size,
what does that say of our society? That we are shallow....

If a man is measured by the caring and involvement of his family and support of his
loved ones, he is not masculine? I believe the double standard is begining to reverse its
roles. Women are seen as powerful if they can have a family of their own without the
financial support of a man, where as men are seen as deadbeats if they leave the mother
of their children.

Roles of men and women are changing, with the common, stay at home dad, or full-time
mother who is also working full-time in the workforce. And all I can say is that it's about
time :)

While working at the restaurant, I observed a few couples at each of my tables. The one
that caught my eye the most was a older man (around 70) and his young girlfriend with a
young child in her arms. Throughout their dinner, the older man was comforting her while
also attempting to make her happy.... She seemed to be somewhat irritated with him and
he was just letting her do her thing.

It took me a few moments to figure out if they were actually a couple or just relatives,
but I then understood he was in fact her significant other.

Upon their meal, he was explaining something to her and trying to keep her attention,
but she was occuppied with other things (her daughter). She even shushed me when I
asked if they wanted some coffee because her daughter was sleeping.

I realized he was talking about his age, "I'm not 24 years old..." and she was just
listening. I also got the impression she was questioning him on some topic where she
sounded somewhat insecure. You know the old saying, "out with the old, and in with the
new," but in this case, who is being replaced, him with a younger man, or her with a
younger woman.... But, who knows what the full conversation was regarding, but the two
were there for a good hour and a half (due to needs of the baby).

Their body language was intense: he was all about her, she was all about the baby. I felt
kind of bad because you can tell he was trying to pour his heart out to her and she
wasn't having it.


They eventually left the restaurant, she first holding thier child, then he walking slowly
behind.

Sex Comedies: The Battle Royal Begins

Throughout history the idea that women like sex... or moreso can crave it just as men do has baffled any conservative man and woman in that case into disbelief. Three first and breakthrough literary works, including movies, that depict the idea of breaking down the wall named taboo on the topic of women having sex before marriage and the enjoyment of this biological and natural act are: 1) Alfre Kinsey's publication on "Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female (August 1953) 2) Playboy Magazine 3) the movie, "The Moon is Blue." All three of these were crucial to the development of the term "virginal" or "experienced." McDonald states, "The word 'sex' in the generic title might be seen to be doing double duty there: to indicate the participants in the skirmish (sex as gender) adn to denote the battle field (sex as sex). The 1950's-- 1960's sex comedies could in fact be called 'Battle of teh Sexes comedies.'" (43-44).

McDonald reiterates the notion that in sex comedies, sex is used as a weapon. The virginal girl is constantly guarding her battle ground (untouched virginalness) where as man is in constant attack mode upon her battle ground (PUN INTENDED). The men are always going after either the girl they know will give it up or the girl they know will not be such as easily conquered. Why is this?

I think Romantic Comedies have evolved over the years, yet still have the same ideas of a battleground of control and sex. The one with the control being the person not giving 'it' up. The temptress is still usually the woman, the victim/ persuer is still usually the man. Now, why would I say victim?

I believe in many situations, women use the power they have to manipulate and toy with a perspective mate. Knowing we have the power to turn a man into mulch is very exciting and in many movies and real life, this idea is being used and practiced. Men can be victims if the prowl and attempt goes unappreciated (that is if the woman doesn't give it up or if they show no interest at the end). For now, Sex Comedies are still rocking our worlds....

Jerry McGuire as a Romantic Comedy....??

It states in "Romantic Comedy: BOy Meets Girl Meets Genre" that Jerry McGuire is
considered a romantic comedy. I have to beg to differ, I believe it is closer to a romantic
drama. The funniest part of the film was the little boy making random coments.

"A Romantic Comedy is a film which has as its central narrative motor a quest for love,
which portrays this quest in a light-hearted way and almost always to a successful
conclusion" (9). The film may be a quest for love, but love of what? First it was Jerry's
love and passion in his mission statement to have fewer clients and make less money,
then it was his love for his only client, then love for the only person who believed in him>
hence probably why he became interested in her.

Jerry McGuire should not be considered a romantic comedy only because while a man
who is lost finds a girl who is infactuated with him. Is he selfish? I think so... and because
he is selfish, he eventually gets the girl back and his career back as well.

"Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" contribution

While reading Tennessee William's Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, two questions continued to arise: Was Brick reacting to his friend's death by drinking himself dead, and is it truly important to Brick and Maggie to save face and make appearances seem blissful to the outside world? When this play was assigned, I immediately thought of Anne Proulx and Larry McMurtry's film, Brokeback Mountain. Both men were hiding a relationship, they each had wives and children and jobs but were miserable until their romantic get aways with one another. However, both wives, eventually caught onto the affair these two men were having. Maggie shares the jelousy and love/hate feelings towards her husband as Alma and Lureen feel towards their husbands.

Is it possible to save face, or does everyone find out the skeletons hidden in the closets? Their wives finally breakdown and confront the men on their "secret," the only main difference in the two stories is that Brick does not admit to his being gay whereas Ennis and Jack are openly gay (to themselves).

It was also interesting for me to compare and contrast the two wives in Brokeback Mountain to the wife in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Maggie is an outspoken woman who seems to be staying in a loveless marriage because of financial security. However, she is put into her place when mentioning Skipper, Brick's friend, when Brick begins attacking her with his crutches. She is yelling at him while also dodging flying objects. Lureen is a wealthy woman born into the lap of luxury where as Alma is just as poor as Ennis. It is evident Lureen is not as in love with Jack as Alma is with Ennis. Alma attempts to make her husband happy, because the man is in charge of the household, whereas Lureen is the main breadwinner and Jack is married into this wealthy lifestyle. She is more of an independent and assertive woman, whereas Alma is dependent and passive. The two women are different and I believe Maggie is a mixture of the two. She is spunky, yet knows her financial dependence of Brick.

In our group project, I contributed by creating two backup questions in case our class discussion is not as productive as planned. I also am going to be introducing our group and its main topics as well as addressing the class regarding the term mendacity and saving face with back up material from a modern film, Brokeback Mountain, with same issues: loveless marriages and questioning sexuality. Along with this, I wrote an outline of our presentation and posted it onto our file in WebCT for the group to have a sense of what the process will be.

Throughout the play "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" Tenessee Williams' characters reinstate the
burden a cat on a hot tin roof would have. Why would a cat stay on a hot roof knowing
they can jump off onto safe ground? Does the feline like the pressure on their paws?
Probably not. But if they are on the 12th floor, they are not going to jump knowing they
would plummet to their death. Just as the women and men in this play stay in an
uncomfortable situation, their marriages. Brick and Maggie stay together even though
both are miserable. She want's his attention and he could care less. Just like his parents,
Big Mamma and Big Daddy, who are both in a loveless marriage. Although Big Mamma
loves Big Daddy so much, he could care less. He is verbally and physically abusive and
she gets over it as quick as possible. He publically humiliates her infront of family and
close friends in the community.
Big Mamma is constantly saying to her daughter-in-laws to not be catty. Their references
are always regarding cats, "Don't be catty" "LIke a cat on a hot tin roof." If being a cat is
so dangerous, I'd rather be a dog.

"What is a Woman?" -- Simone De Beauvoir

Just as Saussure believed every society has a premandated image for each word, Simone de Beauvoir believes images are engrained into our psyche from birth of gender roles and lack there of. De Beauvoir states in, "The Second Sex," "What is a woman? 'Totamulier in utero' [or] 'woman is a womb.'" Woman have been attempting to even the battle field with their masculine counterpart by attempting to become masculine as well. She also stated, "Are there really women?"
If women are continuously attempting to change the image of what gender roles are, what then constitues a woman from a man besides physical differences? I immeditely think of woman weightlifters and body builders. Some are accused of taking steroids in order to reach their ideal body image, but in the long run, a woman begins to trade her feminine frame for a masculine, non-curvy solid form. Is this not a major form of equalizing the battle field of male and female? I think women and men are supposed to look different for a reason, because we are different. We have different functions, physically, mentally and emotionally. I am not saying a woman should be in the home raising babies and making dinner while the man should be working in the world. I merely believe woman and men are meant to conquer different obstacles in different ways.
Another example of signs being mental images in our psyche that, as Saussure has suggested, relates a sound image automatically, depending on what society you are born in, is the use of clothing. Women are expected to wear certain attire while men are expected to adhere to a different attire.
De Bouvior states, "In truth, to go for a walk with one's eyes open is enough to demonstrate that humanity is divided into two classes of individuals whose clothes, faces, bodies, smiles, gaits, interests, and occupations are manifestly different." Clothing represents ones gender-- if someone were then to wear clothing expected from the opposite sex, they are assumed to be more of that opposite sex. We should not be judging eachother by what we wear. Of course our society has precursors of what a man and a woman should do to keep the world in a constant balance. But HELLO, our world is tilted on an axis!!! We are not balanced and never will be.